OKAY. I just decided to create this segment of my blog called “Momentary Commentary”. My current plan for it will be basically exactly how it sounds; my commentary that I have at a moment during a show I’m watching. That show I’m watching at this very moment is MTV’s Are You The One, and it is so unbelievably dramatic and disgusting…I LOVE IT. I 10/10 would recommend.

Now, let us begin with episode 1 of season 5. It’s already the messiest mess and I’m only like 20 minutes in. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

  1. Hayden is my favorite boy in this house so far. What a goof.
  2. I thought Gianna was nice at first but then she started flirting with and saying she was into Michael (who, let me just say…oh wait, one sec. I’m barfing).
  3. More on Michael: EW times an incomprehensible number. Like. Actually would love to slap.
  4. Kathryn just gave Mike HEAD?????? ON THE FIRST NIGHT??? And then proceeds to tell Ozzy he’s her match. Bitch, what¿
  5. Hayden deserves SO much better.
  6. Edward is GORGEOUS. I wonder if he sparkles in the sun…
  7. Everyone thinks Gianna and Hayden are a match. I strongly disagree.
  8. No MAtCH THANK GOD.
  9. Kam and Edward are definitely NOT a match. Both of them have egos bigger than all of the fake boobs in the house combined.    .
  10. THIS IS A DATING SHOW WHERE YOU FLIRT WITH EVERYONE. MICHAEL NEEDS TO CHILL. But THIS is what’s making Gianna think he’s an asshole, not the fact that when she told him she had a hole in her heart when she was little, therefore requiring her to have surgery, his response was “I’ve dated a lot of girls with holes, but none that needed surgery for it”????
  11. GAH DAYUM the aggression from the girls this season is real. I’m laughing so hard.
  12. The drama and yelling with Gianna went from 0 to 100 real quick.
  13. LOL only two matches.
  14. Let me just say that…This. ThiS is going to be a good season.